So I told you with a smile ‘It’s all about you’ – McFly
I was once told (whilst starved of any energy in insolation in my hospital bed for a week having had my immune system deleted by chemotherapy!) that ‘Deborah, this isn’t all about you’. I was pretty floored at the time. Since then… I’ve been pretty grateful. That one comment took me straight to the core of myself to be able to work out what really was about me. It’s benefited both me and my clients.
Sometimes you must be cracked wide open like an egg to be able to build something beautiful like a delicious omelette! Being stripped bare and realising your vulnerabilities enables you to rebuild. You can’t really rebuild successfully without that process. Lying in that hospital bed that day (already feeling quite vulnerable and cracked open to be honest) I found myself being cracked open some more or smashed to smithereens in fact.
My question to you might not be about where you feel broken; but where are you holding it so tightly together it’s damaging you? Where are you so freaked out about letting go you can’t see that what you are holding on to is not good for you? That you may be better off broken for a little while, to rebuild yourself in to a better space.
I always think that I love pie and chips (from the chippy of course – northern roots!), but it wouldn’t be good for me every night. ? Sometimes it is for your better self that you let go…
Having been given Cancer to deal with in the first place taught me for the first time that actually this is all about me. It has got to be. To be told it wasn’t, was like having someone rip that value of and for myself away; from the very heart of me. When I had only just learnt to do it!
My favourite thing is to care for other people. I’m like everyone’s Florence Nightingale on Speed! It is even in my school report at 8 years old. If you are like that, you tend to put yourself at the back of the queue. For most things. Throw a few decades into the mix and I was almost out of sight, even from myself.
I think we can all recognise when it is all about someone complete with jazz hands. The kind whereby there is no consideration for anyone else. And then. And then; there are the times when it truly madly deeply is all about you. When you are rebuilding your life; when you are working to fulfil how great you are; when you are honouring your health; when you are facing life changing circumstances. Those times are when it really is all about you.
I love nothing more than to see someone rise up out of the ashes. It is my strongest belief that your past does not equal your future and that you can be a greater version of yourself than you were before with some mental reconstruction. I’m not saying that is an easy journey. Neither am I saying it will be as hard as you might feel it is now. It just is. And getting there is where the joy lies.